When you do something so far beyond dumb and stupid that there really is no explanation. The real answer is "I didn't think" but that just doesn't cut it. It's a response that leads to the conclusion that if you didn't think that time, why would you think the next time? Basically.. what will cause you to think properly the next time? I don't have that answer. I can mull it over all I want.. but I just don't have an answer.
There are times when you fail to think first.. happens to all of us, that's sort of a given.. BUT, apparently it happens a lot more to me than to others.. and I just flat out don't have an explanation for it. All my life, I've just "done". Very little of what I do/have done has had real forethought, whether it be work, fun, home, whatever. It's easy to point at in a work environment.. I can't count the number of times I have talked through something to either one person or to a class I am teaching or a customer group I am consulting and they reply with something bordering on awe, and ask me to write it down for them or repeat it for others.... I then find that I can't. I can cover the basics, usually, but not the wording/feeling/true repeat of how it was the first time.
Maybe this is normal.. maybe others just hide this a lot better than I do so it doesn't become a problem.. I don't know. I only know that while normally relatively innocuous, this time it wasn't.
And I, for one of the few times in my life, have absolutely no idea what to say.